Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
