I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
