if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
