so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
