I wish life had little blips of pornography
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Are we still banned from the library?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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