His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wear drunk well.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
