It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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