the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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