I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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