you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
