I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
