I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize
