normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
