Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
