he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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