In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
