belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Come see our sink grown plant.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize