please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize