so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
