Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
