But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize