Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
