I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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