we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
