Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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