Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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