Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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