The maid of honor just puked.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
