You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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