HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
