my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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