All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Randomize
