Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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