I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
