I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize