dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
