Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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