playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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