I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
