"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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