Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
