i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
