The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
