The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
