Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This is not my ceiling
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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