Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize