Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I showed him my bush... on skype.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
