guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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