Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
