but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
