it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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