Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
