i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
