What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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