I heard we made out
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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