Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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