Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
