She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize