I hate all girls vehemently.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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