just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
