the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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