please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize
