Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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