im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
