just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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