You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
