Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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