Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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