Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
