left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
